November 13, 2006 11.11.06 Madrid, Spain Wow, three years on the road. Its been so exciting, it seems to underrate the experience to say that what I mostly feel is tired of traveling. I think a better way to express how I feel is torn on the inside. Each day, each country presents a new opportunity to explore some fabulous unknown and tasty corner of the world. A new language... a new culture... or a more known one that brings back found memories and a smile to my face. This temptation is more than I (or we) can say no to most of the time, almost like an addict or something. Its such an honor and deep thrill to live such a free and exciting international life! However, there is always a small space (somedays larger) that yearns for a nice calm home with a garden in Kauai again. How can I not want to return to such a paradise of nature, warmth and community? But then I wake up in some exotic place, so close to some other incredibly interesting country and feel the excitement of all of the unknown adventure just calling me...one more great story or crazy and random experience..........and how can I stop yet if I'm so close to (fill in the blank) ? Traveling in the VW has been fun and liberating ( a totally new way for me to travel and its great not to have to carry all my stuff on my back and deal with train and bus schedules). It is great to not have to search for a hotel to stay in in each new place and to have so much added freedom to traveling! The best part is going to so many small places off of the tourist track. Great small places whose names I will never remember because we were only there such a short time, but wow, what flavor they add to the meal of traveling that has become my life! It has also its been really really hard at times. Traffic... getting the van stuck in tiny medieval alley ways...getting lost... construction... one way streets...and mostly there is the frustration of trying to live for a few months in a moving rectangular space of a few metres squared with another person. Can you imagine that? ''Hey honey, lets take space. You can sit in the front seat, and I'll sit in the back.'' (Not the easiest approach to a relationship, that's for sure.) I can sum it up by saying, I am ready to settle down again, right after traveling in Spain, skiing, Germany and flying to Australia for a couple of month. As you can see, I must not really be ready yet. I have the means to be in Hawaii tomorrow if that were really what I wanted, so I must simply stay happy in the present, which is not hard. Being back in Madrid is great, I'm healthy and in love and I have so much free time and generally feel wonderfully free! So each day I assess the inner balance of desires and pulls, and each day I feel a little of a pull to keep going and a smaller pull to stop. Each day the pull to stop (at least for awhile) is less than the sheer excitement of seeing more of Europe and the world.........but the balance is getting closer, and Hawaii is calling. I can hear her sweet voice on a warm wind, and I know that the part of me that is tired and wants to settle down will soon win. For now, I can only love how free I am.